Confessions of a Smartass Rookie Mom

I used to be a smartass and headstrong mom. Getting things done the way I reckon was right when it comes to parenting our little one and furkids was a huge deal to me. If you ask my husband to attest to this, I’m sure he would agree without any hesitation.

Before I gave birth, I pleaded my husband not to allow anybody or even a family member to come over to our house to help out during the first few weeks. I wanted to get the hang of parenting at my own pace, and I didn’t want anybody snooping around and judging my parenting skills. As expected, he answered me with a big NO. He said it would be extremely difficult to take care of a newborn along with four dogs at the same time, and he wanted to have somebody who has had experience in taking care of a newborn with us. Part of me wanted to agree with him but the smart-ass parent in me made me cringe. With absolute certainty, I shrugged his suggestion off and told him that I was totally capable of taking care of our baby and our furkids even if I had to do it alone at times when he had to go to work.

After countless unpleasant arguments, my husband ended up giving in to my request. We didn’t get any help for the first few weeks. But man, I didn’t expect that taking care of a newborn would be tremendously exhausting and tricky! No amount of preparation, research and self-conditioning could have prepared me for the new role that I was about to dive into.

Postpartum pain was a total bitch to me. Each time I stood or attempted to walk, it felt like my stitches would open up and my ovary would fall off. The pain on my  rib cage was terrible that it made me wonder if one of my ribs were broken. Three days after giving birth, my milk came in and the pain from engorgement added to my suffering. I wanted to take care of my newborn but moving was an awful struggle. I know it sounds exaggerated but that’s exactly how I felt.

The pain subsided after four days, and the next few weeks were better but still weren’t a breeze for me. I had been rummaging the Internet and asking for other veteran parents for tips about taking care of a newborn before I gave birth, only to realize how overwhelming being a first time parent would be. For one, I had no clue that infants could have tiny white bumps all over their faces and that their skin could peel off. I expected my baby to have perfect skin (blame it to the baby skin concept), and the moment I saw bumps and skin peelings, I instantly turned into a melodramatic mom asking herself what she has done wrong.

Whenever I look back at my experiences during the first few weeks of my journey as a parent, I can’t help but smile and give my back an imaginary pat for being able to keep another human being alive. Although it wasn’t easy at all, I’m happy to have taken care of my little one in the first few weeks with nobody but just me and hubs. I can say that it went well without anybody watching over my back and driving me crazy by telling me that I’m doing it wrong or ramming suggestions down my throat. I know that more challenges and surprises await me, but I’ll gladly take them in without any hesitation. My MIL takes care of my little one now when I’m out for work but I still see to it that things are done according to what hubs and I have agreed.

PS: My husband still thinks that I’m an annoyingly smartass mom. 😂

15 Comments Add yours

  1. I had two homebriths. The only people who came over after my kids were born were my parents. I liked it that way. I am not into having people over on a general basis anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jay says:

    It is so hard the first few weeks after having a baby. Glad you asked for help thanks for sharing 🙂

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    1. Well, I didn’t ask for help in the first few weeks, although I was left with no choice but to seek help when I had to go back to work a couple of months after. 😊

      Like

  3. I can see why you would want to have the first bit to yourself, it can be really crazy when everyone is offering opinions and watching.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We had house guests after our first baby was born. It was so tough trying to entertain and figure out how to care for my baby. I should have been more headstrong and said no.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. livanies86 says:

    What a great and personal post! I think I would maybe do the same if I´m pregnant

    Liked by 1 person

  6. RM says:

    I didn’t want help right away with my first but I needed help with my second because I had a 3 yr old…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Having a baby can be a handful all the way around. There are definitely some fun stories afterwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It’s understandable why you didn’t want to ask for help, you wanted to do it on your own and prove something. It’s hard to listen to other people telling you what to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Esse D says:

    I was the same when I had my son (my first child). I didn’t want anyone breathing over my shoulder telling me what to do or what I was doing “wrong” as a mom. For the most part, my wishes were granted and I got to develop as a mom at the pace I and my baby needed.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. ohmummymia says:

    for me, first few weeks were the hardest. Especially that my Mom is away and I’m here only with my husband

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  11. The first few weeks is when you need the most help. I did let people come over but honestly I didn’t want so many people at once and I wanted to tend to my baby.

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  12. Elizabeth O says:

    When my twins arrived, I was thrilled to be surrounded by friends and family helping us out.
    My MIL hired a nurse for the first two weeks they were home, and then we hired a live in Nanny who stayed with us for many years. Perhaps it’s cultural but, it’s also a choice.
    I understand your choice to wing it and I’d honestly choose mine again. That’s the joy of motherhood, we find our path and follow it.

    Like

  13. I’ve never had a child but I can imagine what it’s like. It’s nice that you went with your way instead because no matter how difficult it is, you still know best and even your husband can’t deny that fact.

    Like

  14. fasetto says:

    Wow, you are a strong and smart mom. Doing all that by yourself was difficult but you didn’t give in.

    Like

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